Babysitting Advice - Is It Ever Right To Bribe Children?
Many new parents vow that their kids wont be given sugary foods or stuck in front of a TV! They will only have healthy, well-balanced food and all play will be mentally stimulating and educational.
Sohow come Junior is watching that Sesame Street DVD for the 20th time and snacking on cookies?
Ill give injust this once
If theyre honest, most parents and babysitters have fallen back on bribery at least once usually a lot more than once! If youre exhausted and crave a few minutes of peace and quiet, a little bribery seems the obvious way to go.
Babysitters are often in the awkward position of having to discipline the child but not having the same level of authority as the parent. This is for two reasons. The babysitter isnt the parent and doesnt know the full history of what has and hasnt worked with the child in the past. And bribery does work at least in the short term but what is it teaching the child?
Creating A Demanding Child
People who are steadfastly against bribery argue that it is encouraging children to behave badly as they know it will end in a bribe to stop that behavior.
It helps to look at the dictionary definition of a bribe. Its anything given or promised to induce a person to do something illegal or wrong so that clearly isnt whats happening here. Youre using a bribe, but to induce good not bad behavior.
Its All In The Timing
Bribery is offering payment before the deal is closed. In other words, once the child has what they want why should they do what you want? Especially when yet more bad behavior is likely to result in another gift.
The fundamental difference between a bribe and a reward is the timing of the action. Whether its intended to induce good or bad behavior, a bribe is given before or during the bad behavior, to stop it.
A reward is given after the good behavior. If the good behavior doesnt happen, neither does the reward.
Make The Child Do The Work
A huge amount of effort can go into persuading, coaxing, explaining and finally bribing a child. Its exhausting, frustrating and worrying. So stop doing it! The ironic thing is that in the early stages, the reward will have to be offered prior to the situation arising. For example, tell the child that if they are good while youre grocery shopping, you will be able to get round the store quicker which means there will be time to go to the park on the way home. Its then up to the child to work for that reward.
Make The Power Shift
When you bribe a child they have the power in the situation. They are manipulating you in order to gain a reward.
When you offer a reward you both have power. You can give the reward or withhold it. The child can earn it or lose it. Youll be surprised how quickly they learn!
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